I am a single mom (not diagnosed with ADHD but believe I probably fit the profile) of a very hyperactive ADHD boy, am self employed and somewhat overworked. Not a good combination!
My son got diagnosed in March 2014 but did not really start meds until August of 2014. He was on ritalin extended release and guanfacine, but the ER version of the ritalin doubled in price recently so now he's on the short version and has to medicate 3 x daily.
Sometimes the camp he goes to forgets a dose and I pick him up at 5 and I can tell he's having a hard time behaving. Last night, when he had only one dose all day, he went in the backyard while I was doing something else and got in to mischief throwing pebbles and what not. Well my neighbor's son, who is late 20's or early 30's comes over here in a rage and yells at me, telling me my son is going to torture animals, put animals in microwaves, he damaged his car and he's going to send me a bill, blah blah blah.
I got so upset I shut the door on him. Then he comes back to say next time my son acts up he'll call the police and so on...
Sometimes I just don't know how I'm going to make it through to adulthood with my son. I'm kind of at the end of my rope.
I think I may just carry his meds with me and medicate him even if it's late in the day, if he's showing signs he is potentially going to get in to trouble.
I had been hoping to try a nonstimulant but I'm beginning to think this isn't a realistic option.
Let's see here...we have an 25 year old, a 9 year old,and a mom whose concerned for him. First, let's not waste any time giving a rats; fifthly ass about what a mid 20;s guy has to say. It sounds like he might be a bit jealous of the attention that your son gets that he's not getting. If something did pop it most likely wasn't caused by your son; instead, just something that needs to be fixed at this time. If you live in a small town, explain the issues to the cops on duty and explain your fussy neighbor's accusations/., So, continue following the course of a fine parent and continue his medication.
I completely sympathize with you. I have a 7 year old daughter that initially we thought was getting better with medicine but the tantrums, outbursts, and misbehavior is back. We have increased her medicine and gotten her back into therapy but I am losing it. She is going to second grade in the fall at a new school and I know that will be an explosion. I’m a physician and work crazy hours and my husband travels for work. I love her with all my life but sometimes it’s too much
My son just turned eleven and I can tell you it gets better with time. He was diagnosed at 8 and I was exhausted mentally with him. I read and googled to learn what I could about ADHD. Pick you battles with him, set up consequences for his actions and the most challenging thing for us was a schedule. We didn’t and don’t medicate in the afternoon so I do understand. I feel my son has grown into himself with a great understanding of adhd and taking responsibility for himself. It’s hard but be patient with yourself and your expectations.
Thanks, Cynthia, I actually live in a town of 40,000 people, but my street is kind of like a small town. This neighbor is talking trash about us to other neighbors I suspect, but then I am friends with other people on the street who are more understanding. It's upsetting that I can't walk out my front door without fear that someone might accost me and get confrontational. I am putting my house on the market this month, but then maybe this will just happen all over again in our new home. I can't hover over my son 24/7, I have to go to the bathroom and take a shower once in a while.
Any way, thanks for the validation, I don't get very much of that!
Happy 4th!
Ms.Cynthia said:
HopefulMom,
Let's see here...we have an 25 year old, a 9 year old,and a mom whose concerned for him. First, let's not waste any time giving a rats; fifthly ass about what a mid 20;s guy has to say. It sounds like he might be a bit jealous of the attention that your son gets that he's not getting. If something did pop it most likely wasn't caused by your son; instead, just something that needs to be fixed at this time. If you live in a small town, explain the issues to the cops on duty and explain your fussy neighbor's accusations/., So, continue following the course of a fine parent and continue his medication.
Thanks, Christine. We've been working on consequences for years, that is something I have always done, but when he doesn't get his meds it is really impossible for him to control himself, mentally he is really 4 or 5 off his meds. He definitely doesn't get a pass from me when he's misbehaving.
I appreciate your supprortive words....we need to stick together!
Christine said:
My son just turned eleven and I can tell you it gets better with time. He was diagnosed at 8 and I was exhausted mentally with him. I read and googled to learn what I could about ADHD. Pick you battles with him, set up consequences for his actions and the most challenging thing for us was a schedule. We didn't and don't medicate in the afternoon so I do understand. I feel my son has grown into himself with a great understanding of adhd and taking responsibility for himself. It's hard but be patient with yourself and your expectations.
I am hoping to cut back on my hours in the coming months so I can spend more time with my son. It is so hard when you work full time, never mind long hours and weekends! I'm actually selling my house and moving in to a tiny home closer to my clients so I won't be spending time commuting. I'm hoping for less stress in my life so I can be a better parent for my son.
What is frustrating is he can be so terrific and be in a happy mood 95% of the time, and next thing I know he is throwing stuff over the neighbor's fence and getting in to disagreements with the neighbor kids, it is all so unpredictable.
For now I am just having to keep him in the house unless I go outside with him to keep an eye on him. I would like to put him back on Adderall, except he would not eat all day when he was on that Rx. It just wasn't healthy for him.
All the best of luck with your situation!
Sherma St Fort Morton said:
I completely sympathize with you. I have a 7 year old daughter that initially we thought was getting better with medicine but the tantrums, outbursts, and misbehavior is back. We have increased her medicine and gotten her back into therapy but I am losing it. She is going to second grade in the fall at a new school and I know that will be an explosion. I'm a physician and work crazy hours and my husband travels for work. I love her with all my life but sometimes it's too much
I know the feeling, I used to break up fights as one twin has autism, I’d get so depressed afterwards. I have these two opposites fighting, insulting one another. We managed to do 6 months catchup spelling and writing and now he refuses to do anything. Climbs out roof, leaves house and I sit and worry what my 13 year old is going to do next.
I gave up being concerned what people think as with autism, but it’s legal issue that gets to me, and always driving home message that we just don’t fit in.