Newbie with old struggles

Hello, I’m new to the forum and website, but diagnosed with ADD 4 years ago. I’m now 31 years old and struggling more than ever. When I was first officially diagnosed with ADD, I was put on Ritalin then Aderall XR shortly after, and thought it was a miracle. “FINALLY! I thought, things are looking up.”

Fast forward to now, I changed medications to everything and every dose except vyvanse. I feel like I can’t function physically one day without taking my medication. I try desperately to skip days because my tolerance level is so high. When I take it, I mentally feel disorganized without the physical tiredness, and when I skip I feel horrendous physically. I feel like I’m completely at a loss with no hope.

Anyone with similar experiences I would love to hear it, I feel like I can’t relate to anyone anymore