Hey all,
I could use some help pulling through a massive, mostly hyperfocus induced overload.
I spent most of today in a haze, always going back online to get more information and advice on every aspect of symptom management from “alcohol” to “create zones to do xy”…
I should add that I only got about 5 hours of sleep and that makes everything so much worse. Anyway, so now I’m left with an enormous amount of information, tips and strategies and, lo and behold, it’s all equally important! Just a few minutes ago, my mum called to ask when we were going to meet tomorrow and if I wanted to join her for a holiday dinner and I honestly pulled a total blank. Even forming a coherent thought, let alone making that decision felt like I was wading through a swamp or trying to reach into a black hole without getting sucked in. Not to mention that the one clear thought that did get through was " you idiot, look were your stupidity got you again. Now what? Think, stupid!"
I’d really like to make use of a few of those tips but, well, what good is changing one thing amidst a giant mess and which one would I…every one is important.
Sorry about the rambling, took me about 20 minutes to even get this in writing.
I guess I just need a hug, physical orotherwise 
lol I had that moment today. I had a meeting with my psychologist today and in our discussion I wanted to add something but waited for her to finish talking so then I started Rampling hoping I would remember what I wanted to say but then sat in silence for a few seconds until she could see I forgot where I was going with that. Then I remembered again! But waited for her to finish talking and I started talking and forgot AGAIN! I hate interrupting people but it’s almost like I have to or I look like a flipping idiot if I wait for too long haha…
It starts to piss me off when I continually do that then I get in panic mode and start sweating and feeling numbness in my face, neck, and ears.
Stimulants def help me with all that but don’t feel bad it’s the life of someone with ADHD you’re not dumb
Oh, I know that feeling. Apparently, “swamp brain” is my sleep deprived hyperfocus drained completely overwhelmed version of that…minus the disruptive talking though-“swampy” led to a very uncomfortable silence.
I’m in my 2nd week of trialing on a stimulant med, just upped the dose for the first time 2 days ago. Positive report: I didn’t experience my typical sensory overload entering the mall and actually got everything I needed. And the tinnitus I recently developed abruptly turned down the volume on me about an hour after I’d first taken the higher dose.
Aaron33-- here is a huge hug from me! You sound so much like me. It is comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. I just joined and reading things I can relate to makes me really sad for both of us. It's hard to get the "stupid" thing out of your head, isn't it? I feel the same about seeing cool ideas for organizing and helping my ADD but you are right--there is so much and it's all good and then there is this thought in my head and oh my God there is another and what about what my friend said last week I think she meant she was mad but didn't say it and when am I going to finish the taxes for God's sake and did I feed Paco the Pig or was that yesterday I am remembering--- Rambling thoughts to the point of madness. I hope tomorrow is better for you!
A big hug, aaron33!
Thank you both for the hugs @ klhayes62- you caught me, I love teddy bears please, don’t tell anyone, grown man here , sort of…
Oh and I did get my 8 hours of sleep tonight so, it’s looking up.
LOL about the teddy bear thing--I Googled "pictures of hugs" and spent an inordinate amount of time looking at pictures ranging from cute to darn right pornographic. Figured I would go with something innocuous like stuffed animals! :)
I have terrible back pain issues so my sleep is often deprived. Tough to balance ADD meds with pain meds. And of course when you have chronic pain they practically stuff anti-depressants down your throat so those too. Tried Vyvanse for the first ADD med and I think the dose was too high. I was very, very tired and my thoughts raced but my body stood still. I slept great! But of course the whole standing still 24/7 wasn't okay. :)
Take care!
K
aaron33 said:
Thank you both for the hugs :-) @ klhayes62- you caught me, I love teddy bears *please, don't tell anyone, grown man here , sort of...;-)*
Oh and I did get my 8 hours of sleep tonight so, it's looking up.
aaron33~{ } I think that's how you do a keyboard hug. Oh, aaron, I have a confession to make, speaking of sleep. I came to the realization that it takes me so much longer to accomplish things than the norm. I'm retired so I have full days to try and get things done, but I find myself in a panic because I want everything done now. So I find myself looking at the clock as my enemy and I got into this horrible habit. Sometimes if I feel I didn't accomplish enough during the day, I will decide to stay up all night to catch up. The next day I am in a hazy state, crabby & mad at the world. Then I promise..never again! But then I panic again...got to stop. We need good sleep!
That sounded so familiar...you saying idiot & stupid! That's another thing that seems to happen without enough sleep. I use those same words. Stop it! I will, if you will.
@ k lol I turned out that way on neuroleptics to help me sleep…well, sleep I did…
I feel you on the pain issue, went pretty much untreated for years- except off course for the obligatory tricyclic anti-d.'s. Strangely, I’ve noticed the pain lessening consistently over the entire period I’ve been taking the adhd med…read about a possible link between chronic pain and sensory sensitivity somewhere. So, either there’s a connection or I’m imagining things.
@ adhdgrownup stopping! right now! never again…
The pain thing---I forgot about this! Story of my life, now that I think about it :). When I started on Vyvanse 50 mg. maybe 1 or 2 days in I hurt all over my body. Like every muscle, bone, etc. I just slowly moved about. Like you were hit by a truck and the way you would feel waking up the next day. I had a dentist appt too.
I get to the dentist and they gave me gas--first time ever I think--and I sort of feel different but not sure and then this shooting pain in my head and I finally say--oh my God, my head is killing me. They start freaking out and stop the gas and give me oxygen and the pain is gone. Then she starts working again--pain is back. It wasn't my head, tho. It was my jaw--and it hurt in my jaw and all over my head and I just sobbed the whole time.
That went away eventually--the terrible pain. Here is the kicker--when I weaned myself off the Vyvanse cuz I hated being a Zombie, I suddenly felt my pain a lot more than I had. I think the Vyvanse did help with the pain--so odd!
Maybe an adverse reaction to the gas? Happens a lot.
And I think you’re right about the dose. If you felt like that, it was too high! Happy Holiday
I have those type of moments on a daily basis or even when someone swears “they’ve told me this already a thousand times” making you feel like a idiot once again!I’ve been called a airhead all my life or one of the better sterio types “scatterbrained”.When its just to much for them to really and truly understand… I JUST DON’T REMEMBER!