My son will never see me cry about this. He will never know how my heart breaks for him over the many little things that people judge him on. He will always see a strong supporter. He will know I have his back and I will help him and love him no matter what, but he will not know I suffer. Today is one of those days it is hard to smile; hard not to cry. I am tired of feeling I need to apologize for his behavior at school when he has done nothing wrong. When he thinks he is trying and doing his best and they continue to make him feel small and brow beat his efforts. Telling him "if you continue to be this way no one is going to want to be around you." My heart aches when I see student's of the month announced and know he will never be one of them because they have already predetermined him as a problem and continue to have unrealistic expectations of him. My stomach knots each day when I tell him why he needs to go to school when he begs me not to. Or when he is in tears trying to finish his math and I have to put on my mom face and try and help him no matter how much it tears me up that he is struggling. Today is just one of those hard days.....I know that we all have them. Tomorrow may be better....but today, just for today, I wish that it were easier. That I could make it alright for him....to take it away. So today I will cry, I will be introspective and quiet....until I see his smile. Then I will push it all away and help him move on one day at a time, because that is all we can really do.
All of us have days like this, but thank you for reminding us that we are not alone.
How are things now?
Things are great actually....I have been meaning to put on a "happy post". We took our son out of public school and put him into a local private day school last week. He is thriving already!
NinjaSue, you expressed your feelings with such compassion. Our kids are beautifully unique and worth every bit it takes to see them thrive. I am so happy that you and your family were able to make this positive change. What good news!