I couldn’t find a place to reply to the latest article so am posting as a new topic.
Until now, I have had a pretty good life and I was very okay. But after losing my job of 28 years almost three weeks ago, I am not okay now. And I worry that I will never be okay.
I’ve always known I had ADHD but thought of it as a positive thing. I told myself: I am a now person, I never make people wait if they want something done, I get an inordinate amount of work done in a day, I am a great employee, my nickname is ‘Crazy xxx’, friends find me fun, I have fun”. However I didn’t see the downside: my impulsivity getting me into trouble, multi tasking leading to careless mistakes, annoying people around me with my boundless energy and to do lists, and the mountain of stress I put myself under in a day trying to get everything done because it had to be done now.
This article resonated with me because I am depressed, I am anxious, I am grieving the loss of a job I loved, I am missing the social aspect of my workplace, I am missing my purpose, I am worried about money, I am worried about ever enjoying life again. I am not okay.
When I got the official diagnosis of ADHD only a few months ago, as a result of issues in the workplace, I thought it amusing when my NP asked if I needed treatment. I didn’t think I did because I thought of all the positives. Now I am beating myself up over the negatives which have landed me where I am: losing a job I loved a year away from my earliest retirement date.
So where do I start at the age of 53? How does one change their complete personality at this age? How do I relax more, especially when under crisis?. How do I not focus and dwell and ruminate when that’s what I have done all my life, especially in times of crisis? Are there medications for ADHD? What do they do? Will I still be me if I take them? How do I enjoy the rest of my life?