Recently I have been realizing that I am suffering from hopelessness. I never really understood that the negative thoughts I have were caused from this. I have always been negative towards myself and my performance. I am generally a happy person with an upbeat personality but I feel this has shadowed some personal problems I have that it even hid it from myself.
I am trying to do better my telling myself when this episodes of horrible perceptions of myself happen by practicing ANTS behavioral therapy. It very new to me and hasn't been advised by my therapist but it helps me see how bad these thoughts are.
I am seeing a therapist and will bring up how to handle it better and anything else that may help.
It has developed into denial of my own diagnoses. However, my diagnoses was confirmed or I began to accept it again because recently I noticed how forgetful I am. It was a funny realization but still had frustration.
On a brighter note I am doing better in school which is helpful when I began to fall into sadness.
This post isn't meant to be a sad post. it is more of a vent or just an expression of how I am feeling. I just wanted to know how others handle these situations and how to stay positive and become more confident in myself.
Automatic negative thoughts -- that's a great way of expressing it. I have a tendency that way, and both of my kids do. It's the nagging voice that is telling you that the negative is much more likely to happen than the positive. Which, of course, isn't true. But ANTS can sabotage us and make negative outcomes more likely, can't they? They usually start with "I'll never..."
Do you do a lot of future forecasting? Thinking about a potential problem in the future? That is definitely a trap, because there is no way to solve a problem that hasn't happened yet.
Thanks for mentioning the therapy, and I hope it helps turn things around for you, msanch. College can be a rough time -- everyone has high expectations of themselves, and fears that they might not live up to those.
I am on here for my son, which I haven't been recently. But I suffer from a rare disease and am highly medicated so tend to go to the automatic negative, as well. One thing I have realized that as new things happen (or when I was first diagnosed), I had to go through the stages of grief. Denial and sadness are there and bouncing back and forth between them is common. I think accepting that is a big win for me. And it appears that you are coming to terms with your denial and sadness. I always try to do something that gives me joy. Weather it be work with clay or some other hobby. It really seems to bring me out of those slumps. I know my disease is not that same as ADHD, but I feel these types of things can help anyone who suffer emotionally this way. Hugs to you.
Thank you for both of your responses.
Dancermom: Almost always I am doing future forecasting to the point of concluding the perception of any and all of the people involved in the future situations. For instance, I refused to go, and probably never would have if my program specialist didn't help me realize of this problem, meet with my professor because I felt I was not doing well and assumed he would want to speak with me because of my "poor" performance.
Debbie: thank you for your concerns. I also sympathizes with you and hope your future gets better each day. I just have to start talking with others about these issues since it has developed into something quite out of control.
Try this mantra, m1sanch: "Let tomorrow take care of tomorrow." Just focus on the task at hand. And sometimes, give yourself a break and just enjoy yourself. I am glad you went to speak to your professor.
Sometimes, anti-anxiety meds can be helpful to break harmful thought patterns. I don't know if college healthcare has psychiatrists who can prescribe those, or even whether they are indicated in your case, but you might ask your doctor whether they might be appropriate.
The best thing to do for anxiety, of course, is to force yourself to do the things you are most anxious about. Avoidance creates more anxiety.
One thing you want to remember about talking to your professors, sometimes you might find one that isn't very nice but know that can be about them, not you. If someone cannot realize there is a possibility that someone has something going on in his or her life, that is all about them, not you. It took me a long time to realize that but I get it now. I have always tried to give people a chance that way but took it so personally when someone didn't give me one. Now I know better. You seem like an amazing young man who will be successful but it might be in your own way.
Have you learned about all of the different learning styles? When I was working, we learned that there are several different styles but US schools are geared to teach mainly to one. Really? This might be something you are interesting in reading.
Dacermom: I will try the mantra out but I may adjust how it is worded because presently it feels out of my control and I like when I have some control of my future haha. But thank you for the suggestion. I want to try out anti-anxiety medication but idk how I will feel about adding more pills to my counter. It just scares me to have.A toolbox of meds.
Debbie: your insight is very useful. I am slowly recognizing if someone isn't very welcoming to me that it may not be me but of their own history and mentality. Next week can not come sooner because I really want to meet with my therapist. Hopefully I will gain some instructive advice from him. Thank you for the article I will read it during my free time this weekend.
I agree, Mike, finding your own mantra is best. Good luck with the therapist!
Mike, I’m new here. I’m happy to read your post because you are my example for how to reach out. Thank you. I also have a therapist, and a psychiatrist for depression meds (I have a history of it). Tonight I was anxious and my patience was exhausted; I looked to see if reading some posts would be calming, and it was. Best to you.
Mike, I heard about ANTS therapy again and remembered the first time I heard about it was in your post! So I’m going to check it out. Thanks.
I have a bit of a bias against ADDitude. Some of the articles are helpful, but much of it reads like an extended ad for big Pharma. Still, it may be my issue, not Additude's...
Awesome post. You sound like a thoughtful person. I have a feeling you are being hard on yourself. Give yourself a break and dwell in the positive. Congrats on school!
I also had such a profound sense of hopelessness that I am now coming out of. I probably have been to contributing to this for many years.Very Traumatic events certainly contributed to.
I hit the end of the road and was scary for me. The great thing us you recognize the “hopelessness” and you are getting help and keep working your way out of it. I took a long time to get there and so it took what seemed like a long time working out of.
Intensive therapy different approaches
Medication helps to hold you,maintain,balance and quicker recovery just a suggestion.
Make friends that have not necessarily same issues but all have sense if hopelessness.
They are not your therapist BUT they understand the struggle.
Often those friends have suggestions how they are fighting to climb out if the rabbit hole/paper bag of hopelessness.
Very insiteful how others are coping and skills they are using.
They are accepting,have EMPHYTHY and can be great support.
Family and friends outside of therapy are also another support.
KEEP CHUGGING, SOME DAYS WILL SEEM LIKE NO PROGRESS,OR REGRESSION OF PROGRESS.
ACCEPT THOSE DAYS,JUST ROLL WITH THEM WHEN THEY HAPPEN BECAUSE TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER.
I PROMISE. YOU ARE STRONG,YOU CAN DO DO IT, you will make it!
Those words from my Drs and Therapists at pivotal times made a difference to me, believe it or not they did.
Such simple words were so powerful.
If they believed in me! (They were sincere) then I could believe it also.
I believed in myself!!
I am now standing in the light and doing better and better and now great.
I am concerned about you feeling hopelessness. I understand.
I also understand it us very important for you to continue to receive help and support.
Very important with feeling of hopelessness.
Take care my friend
Keep us updated on your progress. Someone does care. Many care.
This is for Mike Manic . Does anyone no how he us doing?
Squeeze, I can send Mike a message. Last time we talked, he was doing well. Thank you for posting. I hope you are well, too.
Hey everyone. First off I just wanted to thank you all for your responses. They were very heart warming. I havent been in awhile. I have been busy with school preparations, vacation and work.
As a brief update everything has been improving. I am learning to let go of stressful situations that are out of my control. Also I am learning how to be more vulnerable. I discovered I can be very difficult to read through my facial expressions. So I am trying to be more expressive.
Again thank you for your responses and your concern for my absence. It makes this site reassure myself the support it brings.
Good to hear from you, Mike. I am glad things are going well for you. :)
Thanks squeeze. Your post is actually what I have been working on. I am discovering I need to be myself and not try to let other peoples opinion matter. Over the past month I heard something that was very inspiring.
No two peoples lives are identical which results in people thinking differently than how one thinks. Therefore why should we judge or be concerned with how others think of ourselves when we do not know or understand why they have those thoughts. I definitely do not want others thinking for myself so I should not think of what others think of me unless they tell me directly. Even if they do I shouldnt take it personally