Help with school

Hi I am looking for some support in dealing with my child’s school. He is constantly getting into trouble at school for not concentrating not putting effort in (despite making some progress) and for being disruptive. This week he has been put on 3 report cards, some of this is brought on by him but he is only 11 and needs guidance and the constant negativity is not good for anyone. We have tried talking to him but he doesn’t see he’s doing anything wrong. Can anyone offer any advise on this? Thanks Sirina

Hi Sirina. I feel like we are soul sisters. I am going through exactly the same thing with my 11 year old daughter. Does your son have a 504 plan and is it being followed? As a middle school teacher of 19 years I can tell you to email all of his teachers and voice your concerns. Bcc the principal too. Email them everyday until they lay off of him. I had to put my daughter on my own homemade homework tracker. Keep me posted. Hope I helped

Hi sorry to hear you are going through the same thing it is rubbish! Thank you for replying that’s a great help. I have a meeting with the school head of year and senco in 2 weeks to find out what’s Being done as I don’t know what if any support is in place for him. At primary school he had an individual education plan but nothing has been mentioned at secondary school. Thanks again for your advise.

Teach him my technique THT. It has been so helpful for my students with ADHD. You can learn it here.

SH. Someone dropped the ball with your son. if he had an iep in elementary school, it should have transferred over to middle school. You should have been called in for an annual review. No wonder why he is getting reprimanded all Of the time. Teachers don’t know. So sorry this happened to you. What state are you in?? This infuriates me as a teacher!!!

We have two weeks off school now so I’m going to spend time with my son and focus on it being a really positive break. I am going to get all the information ready for my meeting with school, I have printed off the disability discrimination act as if need be I will use this. I feel so let down by the school and his teachers and wish there where alternative ways of teaching these children all they need is for it to be fun and interesting. We have also just had an appointment to see a child psychiatrist regarding cbt so I’m really hoping that will help. Thanks so much for your advise.

My husband is a teacher and it is vital for your child to have an iep. Growing up with ADHD I am sooo grateful I turned towards sports! I was playing every sport under the sun starting in 4th grade. I joined a local traveling team and always stayed busy which helped with my energy level, socializing, and felt like I was really good at something and boosted my self esteem. I wasn’t disrespectful or mean to people outside my family but def dealt with rage that I held in a lot. I saw online that rage and ADHD are linked. Not sure if your son gets so frustrated he has melt downs but having an outlet helped me with that. It was also very overwhelming and hard for me to stay organized and focused in school. Teachers would lecture and I would be so focused on the 1st thing they said I didn’t understand I would tune out the rest of they said for the remaining of the class. In a short time I was really far behind my classmates I would be so frustrated and start interrupting the teacher & classmates because I was bored. Since I would get so far behind everything the teacher would say would be a foreign language to me. My parents were not supportive with me in school so I really struggled until college when I met my husband.
I would devote some time each night helping him get organized, breaking down his assignments, getting him caught up/possibly ahead of his other classmates and teaching him healthy productive alternatives of how to handle his ADHD in the classroom. I think it’s awesome that you are seeing a psychologist for this! My psychologist says she sees a lot of children with ADHD and teaches them how to cope with it :slight_smile:
I think you’re doing an amazing job and I love seeing parents so involved with their children!

Thank you so much for your advise I am really hoping his psychologist will be able to help at school.

Hi SH. The child psychiatrist may have some suggestions for what you might include in your son's IEP. If your son's IEP in primary school was helpful those goals and objectives can be designed to apply to his new routine and go into his IEP in middle school, too. I hope you can get that in place soon.

Some schools are harder to work with than others. Sorry to hear about the negativity. Most important is attention to the goals and objectives in the IEP as a record of your child's progress and where to aim for success. I agree that it's important to Bcc the principal because otherwise he or she won't be familiar with your son's IEP and will get to know you both a little, plus ultimately the principal shares responsibility for your student. Is the negativity directed at you and your son? Find out what the teachers are trying to communicate and any helpful details they can provide, and they need a copy of the IEP to refer to when you get it. Negativity doesn't help at all. Don't let them get to you. You aren't the target and your son isn't either. The target ought to be working on measurable goals and objectives that will help your son succeed in his classes and feel good about school.


Information on 504 Plans …

504 Plan Accommodations that may be used, but are not limited to, include:

Highlighted textbooks
Extended time on tests or assignments
Peer assistance with note taking
Frequent feedback
Extra set of textbooks for home use
Computer aided instruction
Enlarged print
Positive reinforcements
Behavior intervention plans
Rearranging class schedules
Visual aids
Preferred seating assignments
Taping lectures
Oral tests
Individual contracts