Help me through

I am 25 and a mother of 3. At the age of 8 i was diagnosed with add, adhd, bi polar, mood disorder, depression. After lot's of rejection from friends and family, my parents put me into a mental hospital for a good part of my childhood, addicted to drugs they could not be there for me, they then got dicvorced, and after that I knew I had to take care of my mother, look out for her, make sure she got the money she needed for our bills since the addiction left us bairly making it. I had not been without my medication since leaving the hospital. I quickly became the old me the feelings that took over were so strong and my hormones didn't help. One day my mom didn't come home and she didn't for sometime, I ran out of food, clothes, our utilities got shut off and I had no phone, i started walking and ended up at a park on a swing trying to forget myself, my life, my thoughts, everything that hurt, blaming god, my father, my mother. I then decided to go to a pay phone called my grandma's house collect and she quickly saved me from the destructional life I was living....she got me therapy and was always understanding, let me be open, feel safe, encouraged me to write my feelings taught me the tools to help myself faught for my life faught for me and thank God she did because my 1st pregnancy was at 16 and then they had to move far away because of foreclosure process. I wanted to do right by my son and get married so i did come to find out when i did my insurance changed and mental health wasn't available. My child my son changed me forever he gave me hope and showed me how to do this on my own well at 4 years old I found out he had a mood disorder and starteed therapy and at 5 our first iep at 6 our first hospital intake at 6 medications i was against but didn't know what more i could do. 8 gynecomastia 9 so many jobs lost, ieps, oss, medications, therapies, books, case workers, and bullies and I don't know what to do anymore I've tried everything and the school fights me or beats around the bush, wont send him to an alternative school, but he gets so much oss he is at grade 1 when he is in 3rd, and his anger and sadness is breaking me apart why can't I help him did I do this to him, I passed it on to him, I just want to be enough good enough, enough of a mother what else can I do? Help

Wow! You have been through enough for 5 people. You must be incredibly strong! I am not a parent but having been that boy getting into fights and never knowing what was "wrong "with me I believe i would have benefited from knowing what my situation was. Amd knowing that he is just wires differently and finding out how he learns as everyone learns differently. You are doing what a good mom does. Love him up and make sure he knows that the way he is wired is just different than the average person and that is not better or worse. With my adhd comes a very quick wit that people are amazed by at times. I dont tell them my secret. :slight_smile:

Thank you Harry. I just hate the fact that he wants so badly to be liked and he loves school but he goes through extreme highs or lows the worst part is that he the way he thinks about himself as being dumb being not good enough or that he is the bad kid, I know he is so much more than he thinks he is he is so special and I know he is amazing, smart, and so funny. He is my world and I just want him to learn about himself so he too can see what I see and love himself despite his adhd or his differences and one day he will find a way to use his adhd to do positive because we all know it does have its ups and it’s downs lol. Thank you so much again Harry just looking for support from one’s who will understand.

No problem Amanda. I am just thinking is there a site like this or a group that meets where kids can discuss what they go through with other kids with ADHD? May help to know they are not alone. This site is helping me thats for sure.

By the way, he might be interested to see this list of celebrities and athletes that have done just fine even with ADHD.

Thank you so much I’m sure he’d love to see that and this site looks like it will help me and my son with our add adhd