Has anybody have any coping mechanism when it comes to problems in relationship having adhd as an adult has caused a lot of problems in my relationship, from not seeing my girlfriends side of the story but only realise it once with had a massive row and calmed down, so anybody have any ideas?
Hi, Ben, are you doing more of the talking? or more of the listening? Maybe reminding yourself to just listen first... even if you have to time yourself. You can say things like "tell me more" or "how did you feel about that?" to encourage your girlfriend to keep sharing. You can also defer your opinion but saying "let me think about this" or "hmm... I'm not sure. What do you think should happen next?" You can always tell your opinion later... but she will have been heard.
I’m less of a listener And more of a speaker, I end up giving my side of the story and sort of me me me and I don’t realise the how she feels till after, it’s like it’s going in one ear and out the other, and i really don’t want to lose her, I’ve currently put myself forward for therapy to help save our relationship, but what I’m asking on here is to see if anyone else has advice!
Thank you very much
Therapy helped me with relationships. Good idea.
What I found out the hard way was that if my husband wasn't hearing me (not listening and not showing signs of trying to understand each other) I shouldn't finally shout it. That was a mistake. My therapist told me so afterward. It started fighting that could not be resolved.
Listening to each other takes time. I have most success listening when I'm relaxed and alert and not tired. My relationship with my husband didn't last, but taking the time to listen to my girlfriends and asking them questions to find out more has really made my two favorite friendships much closer. Good luck with your favorite relationships, too!
Ah good!! I’m glad therapy worked for you!xx