15 Year old teen drama

Does it get any easier having a teenager with ADHD? Every morning is a battle even when we try to organize things the night before. Then when she gets home from school it starts again. We do snack time then homework time and then it is like her head pops off her shoulders and she turns into another person.... I try to help her with what I can but instead of her saying "hey mom I don't understand this or I need help with this" she just either doesn't do it or begins to cry. I feel like I can not do anything right for her. I am hoping this new online school does something for her but seems like everything else is taking for ever to come into effect. Like counseling and finding a support group in our area. I don't know I feel like I am drowning

It sounds like burnout, Shelly. If you switch to online, you may just want to give her a few weeks to decompress. She can catch up later. Find out her most productive time of day. You can also do year round school, so the classes can be complete more slowly.

Ok I hope so, I am in tears by the time I go to bed. I have been dealing with this for 13 years or more because the doctors misdiagnosed her when she was little. She also has a sensory problem. My 19 year old son also has it and they never diagnosed him. Now that we know what it is, we are working our best to help her realize everything will be ok.

I have a 14 year old son and while I can’t say the teen years have been “better” I can say that things are always changing and we are constantly adapting as he grows and becomes an advocate for himself. Best wishes to your daughter. Hang in there Shelly.

I feel your frustration Shelly. It does sound like you are staring to burn out. I have been there. My son is also 15 and was diagnosed about 3 years ago. He was not born with it but has it as a result of damage to his frontal lobe from a brain disease he had when he was 9 (ALD). His is extreme. He has no impulse control, ODD,a learning disability and has violent meltdowns. Sometimes he’s the sweet boy he was before and then he flicks the switch and is a different person. For me what helped was that I learned all I could about it and tried to keep myself healthy so I could think more clearly. Every child will have a different course of treatment. I hope you and your daughter can find what works :slight_smile:

Thank you Tracey I appreciate your kind words and incite. The worse part is I basically had a meltdown of my own, the school was not helping her and when I would fight with them to help her they would say " oh well we didn't know she was having such a problem." My daughter is also partially blind in one eye plus she see's 1 1/2 of everything and also her left foot turns in which makes her life harder and they dont seem to understand how much this hurts her and her grades. So I ran from my boyfriend and our home to my parents up north and to a christian school where she is still struggling so now I am going the online cyber route. We will see. I pray alot and put my faith in god to help us threw.

Hi Shelly,

It's really hard to be a parent sometimes, period. It was exhausting for me, too. I fought with schools, patiently for the most part but was met with unnecessary resistance from staff. Both my son and I were frustrated and seemingly getting nowhere even though we tried to follow the psychologists recommendations. Teenager-hood effected my son 24/7. My other son didn't want intervention (ODD) and he did alright. So first of all, connecting to your kids as a loving parent will always be important, good day or bad. You're anguished over the constant struggles now. It's a terrible feeling. I wish you good luck in finding a counselor or a group for parents to remind yourself that you don't have to be totally alone in this. It sounds like you are a single parent? Me, too.

I wish I knew your daughter; each student experiences academics in their own way. Online classes are a good fit for some kids. When your daughter is calmer, is she able to get herself started? Are there time limits she has to be aware of? First step is to get familiar with the online format, how to get the content, and to find out how learning is assessed. I hope she likes it! and I hope she can tolerate you asking how she will measure her progress, or whatever you ask to show your interest, and that she'll agree when it's practical to work as a team. The courage to start something new is your first success, then go from there.

If your daughter required accommodations in school before, check out how to get those in the online classes.

Practice describing successes to her in a short sequence, like "you read that, you wrote this, and completed it for your grade/credit? That's awesome! Tell me more! Maybe she'll talk to you about it :).

If you suspect that something undiagnosed is happening, observe and log and date behaviors, and let somebody else know. Practice describing to yourself and a trusted person troublesome behaviors, remembering to separate your daughters frustrated behavior from whatever effect it may have on you. This is impossible, but not entirely... :). I had to imagine that a protective shell was around me sometimes, to keep stressful interactions on the "outside" if I could.

You can do this.