Hi all just hoping some one has had this my daughter is 12 and has ADHD she has a very bad temper and when she blows she blows I am sorry to say but she did pull a knife on me when she was in full swing in the kitchen as she is getting bigger she is getting more voilent she is on meds but the last year it’s like she is on nothing even in school they find she not as good on them as she was at first any help welcome Lisa
Lisa, your daughter’s doctor needs this information from you and the school right away. She’s still young and needs you to follow clear steps when comes to her treatment, including when to ask for help.
When my kids were young we worked with a family therapist for years. This was extraordinarily helpful because the therapist and doctor were aware of upcoming developmental changes and challenges my sons would experience and we felt better prepared for managing those, including how I was to deal with conflict as the boys grew in physical size. The doctor and therapist knew of medical and community resources as well as consequences for/of family violence, and how to prioritize interventions and steps to treatment. I encourage you to find help - it made a huge difference for me as a parent. My kids felt the benefit of teamwork and knew I was better prepared to make parenting decisions. It’s hard sometimes. You can do it.
She needs a full medical workup, Lisa. Some disorders emerge during adolescent years such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. There may be more than ADHD going on. Once you know what you’re dealing with, professional help will be needed to help keep your daughter and your family safe. a different medication may help your daughter be more in control of her feelings. Keep us posted.
Hi thanks for the input i have been working with her team they think maybe a change of meds I also last night found a group in a town near me so down to go to next meeting . She has been having trouble with some girls in school one main girl won’t leave her alone I have spoke to the school and they have been working on it . Iam going to try everything I can so hopefully we’re going in the right derection now
Bullying can have some pretty serious effects on a child, and schools don't often take the actions that they should. My own high school just fired their principal for lack of responsiveness to bullying. Seeking a student advocate can be very helpful in getting the school to own up to its responsibilities. Also, I just wanted to let you know that some lovely kids can behave very badly when under extreme stresses. Some are self-destructive and some act out toward others. I do not judge your daughter, who is clearly under stress, and 12 is very young for self-control. And do not blame yourself or your parenting skills, Lisa, because this type of thing can happen to good, loving parents.
Lisa, it’s very true that kids under stress (internal stressors, peer stress and bullying, difficulty with performance or finding school meaningful, etc.) often cannot articulate what the problem is. Parents and teachers may not know either so help from a doctor and/or other professionals can offer some clarification and making a plan you and your daughter can follow together.
Treasure calmer and gentler times when they come. It’s hard when there are lots of things to be worried about, and your stress level will be higher, too. I hope you get good guidance for school, social challenges, and family.
I think that just the fact that few things come easy for those with ADD-ADHD adds to their stress.
Even the smallest things for them to complete are tough on them while the others in class breeze through it. This certainly affects their self esteem.
Hi Lisa! My grandson is 12, he spends a lot of time with us, as usual, he’s coming for the weekend. It’s like having a tornado in the house, and it takes me days to recover, but I love him so!
When his temper rises I try to stay calm and assure him that we can talk it out. He wants to be an adult so badly and gets frustrated that he cannot always be included in everything or have things that aren’t safe.
I try to explain that these decisions or rules are there for his protection and are an act of love, but it’s a challenge.
Unfortunately he inherited my crooked teeth, and like his sisters, will require extensive dental work and braces. Of course the kids tease and bully him about this. He’s self conscious, and doesn’t smile like he used to, but he’s a good looking young man, and I’m hoping they soon get to a starting point.
He has to wait until the baby teeth all come out, it’s a painful wait for him too!
He’s a tremendous artist, so I’m surprising him with pastel chalks I picked up just for him. This changes his focus and puts him in one place long enough to talk about his week. I can barely draw a stick man, but I enjoy it, and am always amazed by his talent. I also display his work throughout the house.
We also play Monopoly, it’s very seldom that anyone else stands a chance at winning. It helps his reading, improves his focus and gives him a chance to talk about anything bothering him. I am ever hopeful that these talks and one on one time prevents the explosions. I also use his monopoly skills to explain that everything improves with practice and effort.
I’m not sure that this is an answer to anything, but please know that I wish you the best.