I've noticed my grandson is a different kid, when he focuses on something out of genuine interest, rather than by assignment or pressured. I know that seems obvious, but the difference is really profound!
What about you? Any advice for me?
No advice, but my thought was for so many years I’ve been almost demanding people explain a work it’s cab touchy cause ur not trying 2 b the one who says how, after all there telling u how to do job, if I could have somehow asked "her"to just get to it/she was kissing my attention I lost that job cause didn’t put hotdogs on grill correctly.Icee
The consultant who saw my son explained to me that we use different parts of our brains to do the things we love to do and the things we know we have to do but don't really want of like to. People with ADD and ADHD have much greater difficulty focusing on doing the things that don't engage them.
Yes I would say there is such a big difference in FOCUS.
I would say when the pressure and time constraints are not present I makes a Hugh difference.
At Least it does for me.
My job is to hyper focus and to meet tine constraint of every 30 for turn over. Set up,deal with person and family,start, hyperfocus, perfection and to be finished in 30 min,report and person turnover. Talking about stress!! Set up and starting another to be done in 30 min to start next!
Good thing I love my job because it can be pretty miserable.
I just try to be so tightly organized,lots of multitasking,no mistakes allowable.
And keep chugging on to the next one! I will admit I often run 10 min behind don’t compromise my job or possibility of making mistake.
Thank god for Dx of ADHD at my older age recently and MEDICATION. I would absolutely be nuts by now! It is a job that requires hyper focus but the very tight time constraints makes it miserable at time.
My son is now 21 and unfortunately still has endless problems trying to stay focused. He recently had a job interview where the questions were quite long, by the time the interviewer had finished asking the questions my son had lost focus and couldn’t retain the important parts. Obviously I think the pressure of the situation didn’t help. I have been told many times that he would grow out of it, but life is still hard for him. He’s never been employed and keeps himself busy with volunteer work. Hes a lovely young man with so much to give.
Thanks Dkel, In the UK there is legislation against discrimination for anyone with any kind of disability. Unfortunately employers will not state that why people do not get through the selection process. I work in renal healthcare and I see many patients who do not get employed probably because they are honest on their applications and state their condition. I have been gently coaxing my son to go back to his GP and be referred to the relevant specialist as he chose to stop taking medication after finishing his exams.
As you say, the volunteer work is good for his CV as well as being good for him mentally.
dkel9307 said:
Hi Louise
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties with long interview questions. In Australia apparently employers, once they know that somebody has a form of "disability", have to do everything within their means (I think the term "everything reasonable" is used) to help the person and not disadvantage their job prospects. Do they have similar in the UK?
Also, it is wonderful that he does volunteer work - I would hope that this reflects well on him in interviews and shows a great attitude and ability to perform. He does sound a lovely young man.
Best wishes with everything,
Dkel
Hello Louise,
sounds like your son is good with people as he volunteers a lot. Good attribute.
Serious problem of not being on his medication. That is what helps him focus. I know it us difficult for Many to accept the fact that they have to take medication.
I have gotten comments by friends or partners about taking medication. I have heard people state " I don’t take medication" as if they are better person,or even that you actually are inferior or deficient person by the fact you take medication. I have even had partners try get me to off of!
That was even before the Adderall! I tell them because in enhances and increases the quality if life. I gave gone thru testing that shows I am deficient in Thyroid,estrogen which are hormones. I have documented sleep disorders and will not sleep if I do not take Medication.
It us a difficult thing to accept especially for someone young. But thank god for modern medicine
It is a smart person that does what they need to do to function well and have a life?
I know you as his mother is aware if thus trying to convince him is another. His Doctor should probably would be very helpful and I think support group for his ADHD and age would very helpful.
It is often enlightening after you meet others just like you!
Now I am still looking for a group or persons 50-60 age and even better female! I am 61, dx at 60!
Female professional!
Louise,
I would suggest helping him find a profession that he would fit into and he can use his ADHD skills! Possibly a vocational program which is shorter and to the point for achieving a living and a fulfilling life. Much of time ADHDers are very good at specific things. They are often good at detailed work, are often are very smart,Can hyperfocus well if it is something they are greatly interested in.
There all kinds of ways to break that hyperfocus to move on. Mechanic,Heating and refrigeration is a good area. Make a good living can even have own business and a fulfilling life.
I would also spend much of every day life, dinner table coaching him thru questions they ask in interviews. Not drilling but asking questions, discussion just conversation about things that might be asked in interview. Extend his thinking and thoughts multiple times so it cones to him quickly. When he goes to interview he also needs to keep his pre-thoughts short and concise.
I gave suffered thru slow, long interviews not knowing I HAD ADHD. He can take small notepad,pen with him and not gave to explain. Often they are made aware that they are also being interviewed.
Interesting how they react to your notes. Often interview is cut shorter because of that fact. Instead of dragging out and asking those long drawn out questions. Many which do not tell them anything but makes them look odd,incompetent and don’t look like they know how to interview .
Truthfully many DO not know how to interview and have no idea what they are interviewing you for your specific job and area.
More interviewing improves how you interview.
Can expect and answer the questions quicker and better
Dress appropriately which surprisingly many people don’t know how to do to impress.
If he loses focus on question just ask them to repeat the question. Can even say I’m sorry I don’t understand the question could you say that again or state it a little bit differently where I can understand it better.
Many do not interview people well. Don’t know how or don’t like to.
That is on them. Not your son
Practice, practice
Find a good vocation for his unique abilities.
He will bloom
Your a great mom, keep TRYING, don’t give up I know it is frustrating
Actually this is advise I would give anyone. His problem is pretty common for interviews for people without ADHD.