Being Late

I’ve always struggled to be on time. It doesn’t have anything to do with being rebellious or disrespectful, but I know it can feel disrespectful to others. I read in another discussion about going to appointments an hour early to be sure to arrive on time, and that does work. :slight_smile:
I often think I can complete one more thing, and then I’m late for the next thing. After years I’ve discovered that judging time is difficult partly because I’ve allowed myself to become absorbed in projects, as long as I’m focused, without regard to time. That’s different than how most people operate.
I always thought that anywhere was only 10 minutes from home. Wrong. The best thing about leaving for an appointment early is that there is no stress!!! I do miss the exhilaration of all the lights being green on my way, and arriving on time against all odds. The realization that my speed will NOT help me arrive on time has saved my life, I’m sure of it. With every on-time or early arrival, I have a mini celebration inside myself! I become nice to others. I appreciate what a miracle it is :).

See you are getting better at it! Good job.

Apparently I am not the "normal" lol ADHDer as I am never late. Maybe the "don't be late" OCD overrides the ADHD!. Not only am I not late but I hate when people are late. Drives me nuts. Also my parents are NEVER on time and I think it drove me crazy as a kid being late all the time. When my sister has a party or dinner at her house and it starts at 4, she tells my parents 3:00 and they get there by 4:15 meanwhile they live 2 miles from her. I live 25 miles away and I am there by 3:45. My wife yells at me because we are always the first people to parties and we end up helping setup all the time.

Ironically, although I get to places on time..give me a task with a deadline and I will procrastinate the crap out of it! If I am not under the gun to complete something I cannot do it.

A friend of mine with tardy parents is the same way!

Harry~I wonder if one of your parents is ADHD? They sound like me; I think my kids do the same thing with me & telling me an earlier time.

Once I read that one of the reasons for ADHD tardiness is that when we're rushing around in panic mode to get out of the house, it kicks up the chemicals(forget which one right now)in the brain & we then think of all these things that we can quickly get done before leaving. Therefore, the "one more thing" of which you speak, ArtFish, makes sense.

I guess I've always been a bit resentful when it comes to getting places early as I feel that I'm having to give up time I need for other things, but after reading the posts here, I'm realizing that it is the only way for me to be on time. The other thing is that I do not like to stupid, so make others wait for me instead?

Yesterday I had a docs appt., which is 5-7 min drive. No problem. Appt was at 10, planned to leave around 930. At 930 I realize I haven't put any make up on yet~only take a minute. So in my head, while applying my make up it remains 930, so I have plent of time. Done! Okay, 930, 930~have to fill my water bottle, no, I'll make it peach iced tea...with ice. Okay, 930, 930~fill all the empty ice trays. So I'm standing at the desk in the docs office and look up at the clock(the one in my care isn't working); It says 1010! What? How can that be when I left at around 930!? How dumb it sounds now that I write it out. ugh!

Yes I am pretty sure my mom is ADHD as well. She always seems overwhelmed and I know my dad is always waiting for her to get ready when they are going somewhere. I do get that frazzeled panic before it is time to leave also. I actually hate the extra time from when I am ready to leave and the correct leave time. Lol. That is why I just leave early. Drives my wife nuts. I will tell her the day before that we need to leave by 6 tomorrow, then at 5:15 I am saying are you ready yet?? She is like I have 45 minutes relax. That 45 minutes is excruciating for me. Lol. Nuts

I use a mental trick. Whatever time I have to be somewhere (depending on distance or weather of course) I automatically tell my brain the time I need to be somewhere is always 15 minutes early. I do not say, oh I have to be there at ten, I say to myself that I am late if I get there at 945. It has become automatic with me now.

lol Harry

Just part of being nuts!

My 12 year old grandson spends almost every weekend with me, and no matter what time he is to be home, we are ALWAYS late! I think I need to start earlier to get him together and in the car!

Everyone, thanks for your posts! Being on time is important to me every day, so there’s potential for a mini-failure daily if I’m late. I’m certainly late-tolerant, though. I’ve been on time more often recently, and I feel so good about not looking for excuses or apologies. The experience of happily greeting whoever I’m meeting with is more enjoyable :).